E
Einstein
Gjest
"Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a.... herring!"
"Very well, I shall welease Bwian!"
E
Einstein
Gjest
"There are some who call me...Tim."
"It`s just a fleshwound!!!"
"We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'"
"Aaaaalbatross!"
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Og for de virkelig nerdete: Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow
"We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'"
"Aaaaalbatross!"
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
Og for de virkelig nerdete: Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow
Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark
"Well, I follow the moth in the helicopter to lure it away from the flares, and then Roy comes along in the Lockheed Starfighter and attacks it with air-to-air missiles."
(Innlegg nummer 75.000 på OT!!)
"Well, I follow the moth in the helicopter to lure it away from the flares, and then Roy comes along in the Lockheed Starfighter and attacks it with air-to-air missiles."
(Innlegg nummer 75.000 på OT!!)
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- 20.11.2005
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Pontius Pilatus: "...I shall send for my fwiend Biggus Dickus......and his wife Incontinentia!"
"Well, there's some rat in it." (Velkjent lokkemiddel når barna ikke vil spise maten sin...)
"Well, there's some rat in it." (Velkjent lokkemiddel når barna ikke vil spise maten sin...)
E
Einstein
Gjest
"Say no MORE!"
Typisk eksempel på en som ikke har PR&T'en i orden... det er "Sit.on.my.faaaaaaaace, and t.ell me thatyou looove me."!
Mvh Vidar P
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"I'll sit on your face and say I love you, too"
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- 10.02.2002
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"We use only the finest iraki babyfrogs. lightly killed and clensed in pure water, then covered in the finest chocolate.."
"You dont de-bone them?"
"No of course not, thern they would not be crunchy!"
"Baaaaarfff...."
"I'm not dead yet! *wack him over the head" There you go.
Go away or I shall taunt you a second ti---iime!
Its! (Hehe...)
Try having an omelet for your evening meal, perhaps with a youghurt and a grapefruit.
We are not eskimo's ... where is our fish? Breem!
"You dont de-bone them?"
"No of course not, thern they would not be crunchy!"
"Baaaaarfff...."
"I'm not dead yet! *wack him over the head" There you go.
Go away or I shall taunt you a second ti---iime!
Its! (Hehe...)
Try having an omelet for your evening meal, perhaps with a youghurt and a grapefruit.
We are not eskimo's ... where is our fish? Breem!
E
Einstein
Gjest
"I fart in your general direction."
K
kbwh
Gjest
If life seems jolly rotten
there's someting you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing...
Hva var det den selvmordsbrigaden het igjen?
there's someting you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing...
Hva var det den selvmordsbrigaden het igjen?
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It was obvious the joke was lethal. No one could read it and live.
Shortly after eleven o'clock comedy struck this little house on Dibley road. Sudden, violent comedy...
Shortly after eleven o'clock comedy struck this little house on Dibley road. Sudden, violent comedy...
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- 20.11.2005
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Og så denne - som mange på forumet synes å leve etter: "Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please."
K
kbwh
Gjest
My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white
K
kbwh
Gjest
Denne er riktig festlig:
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
E
Einstein
Gjest
"No, it isn't"
K
kbwh
Gjest
[A Centurion catches Brian writing graffiti on the palace wall.]
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home."
Centurion: No, it doesn't! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus"!
Centurion: Goes like?
Brian: Annus.
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Annus" is?
Brian: Er, "Anni"!
Centurion: "Romani"... [writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"?
Brian: "Go".
Centurion: Conjugate the verb, "to go"!
Brian: Er, "Ire." Er, "eo," "is," "it," "imus," "itis," "eunt."
Centurion: So, "eunt" is... ?
Brian Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans go home" is an order. So you must use... ? [twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh! The imperative!
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaaagh! Er, er... "i", "i"!
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh! Plural, plural... er, "ite"!
Centurion: "Ite"... [writes "ite" on wall] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion toward, isn't it?
Brian: Dative! [Centurion holds a sword at Brian's throat] Aaagh! Not the dative, not the dative! Er, er... accusative, accusative, "ad domum", sir, "ad domum"!
Centurion: Except "Domus" takes the...?
Brian: the locative, sir!
Centurion: Which is...
Brian: "Domum"!
Centurion: "Domum"... [writes "Domum" on wall] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home."
Centurion: No, it doesn't! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus"!
Centurion: Goes like?
Brian: Annus.
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Annus" is?
Brian: Er, "Anni"!
Centurion: "Romani"... [writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"?
Brian: "Go".
Centurion: Conjugate the verb, "to go"!
Brian: Er, "Ire." Er, "eo," "is," "it," "imus," "itis," "eunt."
Centurion: So, "eunt" is... ?
Brian Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans go home" is an order. So you must use... ? [twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh! The imperative!
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaaagh! Er, er... "i", "i"!
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh! Plural, plural... er, "ite"!
Centurion: "Ite"... [writes "ite" on wall] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion toward, isn't it?
Brian: Dative! [Centurion holds a sword at Brian's throat] Aaagh! Not the dative, not the dative! Er, er... accusative, accusative, "ad domum", sir, "ad domum"!
Centurion: Except "Domus" takes the...?
Brian: the locative, sir!
Centurion: Which is...
Brian: "Domum"!
Centurion: "Domum"... [writes "Domum" on wall] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
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- 21.03.2002
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English Castle
Guard: Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
Guard: Pull the other one!
Arthur: I am! And this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes!
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: Well, Mercia's is a temperate zone
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Guard: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
Guard: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Guard: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
2nd Guard: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Guard: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
2nd Guard: oh, yeah, I agree with that. Then again the African Swallow is non-migratory.
Guard: Who goes there?
Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
Guard: Pull the other one!
Arthur: I am! And this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
Guard: What? Ridden on a horse?
Arthur: Yes!
Guard: You're using coconuts!
Arthur: What?
Guard: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Guard: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Guard: Well, Mercia's is a temperate zone
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Guard: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
Guard: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Guard: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Guard: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
2nd Guard: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Guard: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
2nd Guard: oh, yeah, I agree with that. Then again the African Swallow is non-migratory.
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Dennis The Constitutional Peasant
Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: MAN!
Arthur: Old man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37, I'm not old!
Arthur: Well, I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: You could say "Dennis".
Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out, did you?
Arthur: I did say I'm sorry about the "old woman" thing, but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treatin' me like an inferior.
Arthur: Well, I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king, eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress...
Dennis' Mother: Dennis, Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here. Oh, how'd you do?
Arthur: How'd you do, good lady? I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Dennis' Mother: King of the who?
Arthur: The Britons.
Dennis' Mother: Who are the Britons?
Arthur: Well, we are. You are all Britons and I am your king.
Dennis' Mother: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You're foolin' yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class...
Dennis' Mother: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again!
Dennis: But that's what it's all about! If only people would realise...
Arthur: Please, please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Dennis' Mother: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Dennis' Mother: We don't have a lord.
Arthur: What?!
Dennis: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week.
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting...
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis:...by a simple majority. In the case of purely internal affairs...
Arthur: [getting bored] Be quiet.
Dennis:...require two thirds majority. In the case of old ladies...
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Dennis' Mother: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Dennis' Mother: Well, how'd you become king, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,... [Angel chorus begins singing in background] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [Angel chorus ends] THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up! Will you shut up?! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
Arthur: BLOODY PEASANT!!
Dennis: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?
Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: MAN!
Arthur: Old man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37, I'm not old!
Arthur: Well, I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: You could say "Dennis".
Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out, did you?
Arthur: I did say I'm sorry about the "old woman" thing, but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treatin' me like an inferior.
Arthur: Well, I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king, eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress...
Dennis' Mother: Dennis, Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here. Oh, how'd you do?
Arthur: How'd you do, good lady? I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Dennis' Mother: King of the who?
Arthur: The Britons.
Dennis' Mother: Who are the Britons?
Arthur: Well, we are. You are all Britons and I am your king.
Dennis' Mother: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You're foolin' yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class...
Dennis' Mother: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again!
Dennis: But that's what it's all about! If only people would realise...
Arthur: Please, please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Dennis' Mother: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Dennis' Mother: We don't have a lord.
Arthur: What?!
Dennis: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week.
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting...
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis:...by a simple majority. In the case of purely internal affairs...
Arthur: [getting bored] Be quiet.
Dennis:...require two thirds majority. In the case of old ladies...
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Dennis' Mother: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Dennis' Mother: Well, how'd you become king, then?
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,... [Angel chorus begins singing in background] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [Angel chorus ends] THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up! Will you shut up?! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
Arthur: BLOODY PEASANT!!
Dennis: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?
- Ble medlem
- 14.07.2003
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I'm not!