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Litt humor påfyll takk!
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- Ble medlem
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Satt å så på nyhetene på NRK her nå nettopp.
Var et innslag om Nato møtet i Oslo nå, hvor det var filmet hvor vår statsminister stod å ventet på Usa's utenriksminister.
En av kommentarene fra reporteren var blant anna " Støre har truffet Blinken før"......
Ja ja, ikke alltid så enkelt å få ordlagt seg uten at det kan mistolkes da..Sist redigert:
Husband’s Message to wife (by cellphone):
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital.
They have been making tests and taking X-rays.
The blow to my head though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife’s Response:
Who is Paula?Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again.
The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you, then we made love all night long.'
The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word.
We just had wild sex all night.'
The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, Hey Batman ... what's for dinner??Fifty dollars is fifty dollars
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter'
Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know..... fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'
Ja sånn er det dem er disse brutale ufølsommene individene!The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence. At once, they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave." The old man frowned, "I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked." Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."A couple goes to Spain for a vacation. After a full day they decide to go to a nice restaurant. As they’re seated at their table, they notice the couple next to them gets served with a platter with two of the largest meatballs they had ever seen.
They called the waiter over to ask what the dish is. The waiter explains they have good taste. The meatballs are actually the bull testicles from the bull fight earlier that day. The fella says, they really look good, we’ll have the same. Oh, sorry senor but there is only one serving each day. If you come early and place your order tomorrow morning, we will hold them for you.
The couple come in the next evening and are served the platter with the “meatballs”. The guy calls the waiter over and says, these are really good but they are much smaller than the “meatballs” on the platter yesterday. The waiter replies, sorry senor, but sometimes the bull wins.A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said "Stay here and be very quiet. I'll be across the field."
A little while later the father heard a blood-curdling scream and ran back to his son asking, "What's wrong? I told you to be quiet!"
The son answered,
"Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet.
I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck.
But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said 'Should we eat them here or take them with us?' I panicked..."
Jeg vet. Menn, altså.
Tror vi snakker litt forbi hverandre min venn!Jeg vet. Menn, altså.
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Yeah, yeah. No.
The wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, ' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW...That's more than twice a week! .........You could learn a lot from him.'
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'
Honestly--------My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.Two men and a woman are being interviewed by the CIA to become an assassin. There is only one opening and they need to winnow that number down.
They give the first man a gun and say "We need absolute obedience. No questions asked. Behind that door, sitting in the chair, is your wife. You must shoot and kill her."
He takes the gun, goes in, they close the door. ...silence.
He comes out, crying and says "I can't do that. I love her too much."
first man out. It's the second guy's turn.
they give him the gun and the same speech.
He goes in, the door closes and, immediately he comes out and says "That's too much. I could never do that.
Now, it's the lady's turn. They give her the gun and say "We need absolute obedience. No questions asked. Behind that door, sitting in the chair, is your husband. You must shoot and kill him."
She goes in, they close the door. At first there's no noise. Then they hear a band followed by more silence. Then they hear banging and screaming. After a few minutes of that she comes out and says.
"You didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair." -
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