Some say... all we know is, he's called The Stig!!
Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves
Some say hes wanted by the CIA, and that he sleeps upside down like a bat
Some say he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue
Some say he is illegal in 17 US states, and he blinks this way (horizontally)
Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that hes scared of bells
Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all his legs are hydraulic
Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals
Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that hes confused by stairs
Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees
Some say that hes terrified of ducks, and that theres an airport in Russia named after him
Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphins, and that wherever you are in the world if you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his earwax tastes like Turkish Delight
Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground
Some sayt hat his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire hed burn for a thousand days
Some say he can swim seven lengths underwater, and he has webbed buttocks
Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark
Some say that his ears arent exactly where youd expect them to be, and that once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott
Some say he has a digital face, and that if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar
Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered he could crack The Da Vinci Code in 43 seconds
Some say his ears have a paisley lining, and hes been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show
Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nurburgring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, hell skive off and play croquet
Some say he invented Branston Pickle, and that if you insult his mother he will headbutt you in the chest
Some say that on really warm days he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason hes allergic to the Dutch
Some say that his first name really is The, and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island theyd all be pregnant including the cameramen
Some say that he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs
Some say that he once had a vicious knife-fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the Cash for Honours scandal (Lord Stig)
Some say that he is a CIA experiment that went wrong, and that he only eats cheese (American Cousin, Fat Stig)
Some say that if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as Piccalilli, and that at this weeks Brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand
Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spears head
Some say he isnt machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve
Some say that his scrotum has its own small gravity field, and that because our Producer rigged a phone vote he now has a new name (all we know is he's called Cuddles)
Some say that he's banned from the town of Chichester, and that in a recent late night deal, he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh
Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet, and if he'd been the video ref in the world cup rugby final he would have seen that of course it was a try you blind Australian halfwit
Some say some say he's seen The Lion King 1780 times, and that his second best friend is a caped buffalo (all we know is he's not The Stig, but he is The Stig's African cousin)
Some say some say that to unlock him you have to run your finger down his face like that (he runs his index finger down someone's face), and that if he was getting divorced from Paul Mccartney he'd keep his stupid whining mouth shut
Some say some say that he thought Star Wars was a documentary, and that he recently pulled out of I'm A Celebrity because he's frightened of trees.....and Australia..... Koo Stark..... and Ant..... and Dec
Some say some say that he knows 2 facts about ducks and both of them are wrong, and that 61 years ago he accidently introduced Her Majesty The Queen to a Greek racialist (all we know is I'm going to the tower to have my head cut off, and he is called The Stig)
Some say some say that when he slows down brake lights come on in his buttocks, and that if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week, he wouldn't have been a feckless ginger gum-chewing buffoon and ruined it for all of us
Some say some say that he once lost a canoe on a beach in the north-east, and that he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury, because his teddy is called The Baby Jesus
Some say some say that as we speak he is actually relaxing in the resort pool, and he is, he is actually
(skrevet av Scotty McFarlane)
. 
